Beautiful............

U R BEAUTIFUL.....

U say its same...always... everybody says....

I say its different..always..everytime..

One of us is right...

When it is the question of one of us..its always u..so u r right and i m wrong..I m wrong because I dont know how to be different..that too within the limitations of words..

But, I want to learn to be different..as that is what is required in this dhantenen world..I want to make combinations of some known words in a manner that even some part of all-pervasive, only existant intensity inside can be made known to someone outside and all this because intensity inside want itself to be known..to be known to u..may be it is in search of similar intensity inside u..even if it doesnt exist..or may be it exists even without your awareness..So if my intensity wants itself to be known...
Let me listen to my Poor intensity..
There is something intensity has to say..let me listen.....
It says that i m not poor,but offcourse rare.It is only very few times in your life it happens that i m created and my creation is simply pure,natural,true and honest.It is only your intelligent brain busy in evaluation of BIG right or BIG wrong, that you dont see me. And remember, not valuing me is just like not valuing..maybe.. limited valuable seconds in ur account ..just because its BIG wrong by some definition.

So,now,I want to value my intensity and want to feel..not actually feel..because I always feel..but simply want to express your beauty in words even if it is something like using words to express the power of sun or magnificence of moon..

If I try..What is it that I feel..
I feel if is this..ot is it that..
Is it the beauty of your deep magnetic eyes or something about the way they look when they look at me..
Is it your long falling hair or something about the way they flow in air gleaming & steaming..
Is it the magic of your voice or something about the way it sounds when it is getting sleepy..
Is it the child i see in your eyes or something about the way child gets angry..
Is it the glow of your skin or something about the desire it creates..
Is it the beauty of your thoughts or something about the way i m not there..
Is it the beauty of your teeth or something about the look when u smile..
Is it the beauty of your lips or something about the imagination of the best possible kiss..
Is it the superiority of ur taste or my taste for ur taste..
Is it this..or is it that...

Sorry..i fail...
Why I fail...because it is something more which i feel but fail to express..
Is it only your beautiful eyes,hair,voice,thoughts or glowing skin...or is it some resemblence of my statue of beauty which i see in you and feel the desire to fulfill...
Just don't know..

May be u r right when u say its same..always... everybody says...
but still i say.. its different...always....everytime...

And my intensity says the fact remains and it is simply that..

U r beautiful..

Feeling Blank (Not Fill in the blank...)

Have u ever heard anybody saying he is feeling blank today? I have never heard anybody saying that he is feeling blank.....but I have felt how it feels to feel blank...Feeling blank...Exactly it is something like taking away all the current issues out of your mind and then just sitting feeling no need/urge to do anything. This feeling made me realize that always our mind is filled with one or the other task or affair and these tasks either make u feel excited or opposite depending on the type of affair in your mind.As these affairs are always in our mind,we rarely realize how it feels without them.But sometimes it happens and how it happens is sought of mathematics.If we broadly classify how we feel with affairs,we can say that either we feel positive/excited or negative/dull. When we feel positive because of some incident just happened or about to happen and suddenly their is a addition of something negative may be in the form of another person or incident and the result is zero...u suddenly feel blank.In this feeling of blankness, we also feel the futileness of the positive feeling u were enjoying.Exactly same thing happens when u feel very low on account of some sad incidents and some positive addition takes place and from negative u come to zero.U simply feel blank.

Feeling blank feels good or bad? It feels neither..and the truth is that I want to feel...More important than what i want to feel is the fact that i simply want to feel.Is it so?Just now it seems so.It is only after the fact that i want to feel comes that i want to feel good.

I never thought that even writing a blog for the first time can make ur heart beat fast.But this is the case and it is the feeling I am having.This makes me wonder why it happens that these first time affairs are always sought of exciting and difficult to handle.May be its the first time talking to a girl, meeting a stranger, meeting ur boss at office, that first day at college, first time u are on stage to act, first song u try to sing before knowing that u can not sing, first time u r even posting a reply to some blog.

The best thing I am feeling in writing a blog is that I am asking a question to myself which is not a frequent practice with me and more importantly I am getting a answer from inside which is the only source for all answers and even more importantly I am feeling free to bring out that answer.And now I am even loosing my nervousness.Why? May be I am thinking about my question and my answer. Moments ago I was thinking what other people will think about what I am writing. So is this the answer to the first question which came in my mind about my uneasiness.Yes it is.It is only when I am thinking about others feelings which will created as a reflection of my feelings I feel nervous.And it all goes when I let myself flow freely without any expectation. So this first time affair has given me something.May be I will be able to retain this learning because these first time affairs always happen and I always feel the way I was feeling in the beginning.

This is a good sign.Hope this new journey will unfold a lot..................